“Instead of focusing on the absence of love, I choose to be love.”
Being single has so many “other” labels…’not dated’, ‘haven’t found the one’, ‘not married yet’, ‘taking a break’, ‘no longer married’ or ‘oohhh you’re still single! cough must be something wrong with them cough.
Why does being single have such a bad rap? It’s actually a great time to work on yourself, build strong friendships and discover who you are as an individual. But best of all, you have freedom to explore things and places you love.
So how do you live your single season well?
Being single is a great time to build your inner beliefs – especially to draw out the value you bring to other people’s lives; to better understand who you are, and, if you haven’t already, use this time to uncover any insecurities or fear that will hold you back and affect ANY connections in your life including friends and family. For me, building a Christian faith based belief system, has helped me strip away fear and unearthed a confident person. I know better who I am and what I can offer people I love.
Consider travelling single! Travelling and adventure bring out a strength and courage you may not be aware of. Going solo in a restaurant can be fun; just go prepared with a book or pick somewhere with an amazing view.
Build good friendships
Friends are essential, but don’t limit yourself to single friends. Find people that are in a good healthy relationship, ask questions and learn from them. Also look for friends of a completely different age to you. Why? Because younger friends bring excitement, visions and hope into your life. Older friends bring experience, wisdom and stability in your walk along the single path.
This is not what you think. Yes it’s nice to take care of your appearance – a shower, new hair cut or a beauty treatment lifts your mood, as do exercise and healthy eating. But just as your body needs food, you need to feed your “single” heart, mind and emotions well. How do you do that? By feeding your soul with good things. For example, reading books on having a healthy well-being – ones that focus on clearing out some of the weeds from the past. Forgiveness is also a great way to help you move to a healthy position.
What not to feed it – over-fantasised, romantic or sexualised movies (especially if you are down or feeling lonely). If you binge on these, your brain, body and emotions will all go to that party – and it may lead you to acting on these thoughts which you may regret. Hopping from one relationship to the next can also leave you feeling emptier and more alone.
On special days when I know I find it hard to be alone (such as Valentines day or my birthday), I buy myself flowers and a delicious dinner or cake. I dress up nice and celebrate the whole day. I have fun wishing others a Happy Valentine’s and seeing it make their day. Instead of focusing on the absence of love – I choose to be love!